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[May. 16th, 2008|01:13 pm] |
I met a very friendly squirrel today
and got the rest of my stitches out
not particularly in that order.
*grin* |
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| Whats the matter? |
[May. 15th, 2008|12:54 pm] |
What an almost quite expectedly turn of events in my life.
I try to talk to people about it, but they are too concerned with themselves.
No, no. I understand, no one wants to hear. But, what the Hell is going on? Where are the people I care about? Have I deserted them all?
I feel no love, but much hate.
Apparently, I am really great at appearing to be an asshole, and claiming not to be. Blame it on the stress of life. It's only words. Where is that softy inside of me?
I want to talk to someone who's known me for a long time and have them tell me something funny or nice I did, because I don't want to be the guy who doesn't put the toilet seat down. How cliche, how trivial. How out of tune.
Told my mum to call me yesterday, and she did. It's been 6 damn months, and I am just too shy. Apparently, she paid $100 to track me down, and they couldn't find my address. It would have been easier just to wait.
She told me about my sister's wedding, and she had to put my cat to sleep. It's strange, because I was thinking about him not too long ago, and I felt very sad. His soul passing through me in the shower. Mistook the tears for beads of water. I told her I wish I could have at least pet him before he went.
And, it's true nothing last forever. It's confusing why we hold our routine so sacred.
I'm about to be homeless again.
Should it be time,
to hop a train
with a knife and a small bottle.
I'm not kissing anyone goodbye. |
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| Updated. |
[May. 14th, 2008|03:45 pm] |
I recently bought a vintage roadbike at a garage sale for $30. It's a really good deal considering roadbikes are in such high demand here in Portland, and most go for at least $100.
Oh, listen to my playlist and enjoy my well-defined sense of musical taste, ahem, here it is. ....
I'm at the Belmont library right now, and the inside of my right shoe is filling up with blood. Broken glass in my shoe. At least no one can notice.
I'm getting glances from strangers, and I'm not quite sure why.
I just sold my records at this place called Jackpot Records. Apparently, it was created by some man named Elliott Smith, who recorded a couple albums there. I don't feel the presence at all. Actually, there is talk of this place being so musically inspiring, but I don't feel it at all. I just see the big hair shaking a guitar to someone else's tune. It's fine, It's fine.
$22 for 6 records. Shame shame. I was sad to see the Hasil Adkins go, but there is way to play them because my roommate created a tower while he was drunk and incidental the record player doesn't work anymore. No hard feelings, right?
The wild flowers here grow so beautifully, and they are constantly plucked from the earth and left to die on our windowsill.
We'll just put the dry pedals in the grass.
I'll say it again, and forever, or until I don't feel or feel it any longer;
I feel lonely with having so many people around. |
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| Rats with hardons? |
[May. 13th, 2008|09:00 pm] |
How many menopausal women do you think have flushed there husbands viagra pills down the toilet because she's not quite as randy as he is with them.
Must make for a lot of sewer rats with hard dicks I bet. |
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| No time. |
[May. 13th, 2008|01:59 pm] |
I miss alot of people that seem to be completely disconnected with me.
Someone come. |
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| Thats what happens when you play catch without arms |
[May. 12th, 2008|04:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Computer chair | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dredg | ] |
She thinks she thinks too much
Cause she's thinking of the possiablities and
Words to write to express how she views
What makes this illusion of safety
So soft and so real
And holding on, while holding onto
The keys to craft the thoughts that she thinks
When she's just trying to think
Of the things she cant say or the things she cant think
To carry on and just improve
That bitter taste that sits in her mouth
Or the nail that resides in the heel of her foot
It just let's her down
Just lay down
Just lay down
And keep holding onto your pillow tight at night
Slam shut the lids to ceace this nothing to view
Safely shut down falling deep into peace
Falling deep into peace
Rebooting hopefully to see
Something becides this nothing that plagues
The side of her bed. |
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| Wow this update isn't months apart. |
[May. 11th, 2008|09:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
Soft is your touch
As your hair is just as smooth.
"Blue eyes!" he said, gasing
into them forgetting everything he knew.
As the simplistic moment of a bed and
covers seemed, "cute" the rapture of
this happening seemed too good to be ture.
And what would come next?
What touch would he come to expect
Those of fingers
or two parted lips
And the sounds and noises
that would be made from the exquisit motions
that are being captured, hopefully not in vain.
For in that single moment, "happieness" was
concieved.
A child at birth smiling bearing no signs of defeat.
But, it's an alusion from a liars pen and thought and tounge
Or maybe it's a vision of what is truly yet to come? |
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[May. 11th, 2008|11:49 am] |
been saving up my money, got a lil over a grand right now, and i need to find a car for a reasonable price. Its mothers day, and i am needing to get something for my mom, but i dont know yet what it will be. At least a call, im sure that would make her happy. I finished my semester, and passed all but math, which i withdrew from, so now all i have is this summer, and a couple classes in the fall, and I will be done. I havent made a final decision on where to go after school, but i have some ideas. I have to go to work in a little while, but that shouldnt be bad. Make some more money, and i get paid on friday. School starts again on the 22nd, hopefully i will have the wheels sorted out by than.
I went to see widespread panic with Tyler , Fish, and Daryll, and it was a good show. I didnt much like paying 6 bucks a beer, or for that matter, 6 bucks for a tiny ass shot, but after the show we got proper fucked up and stayed that way for most of the next day. I ate a chocolate and a candy cigarette, and was balls out. Delicious amazing blue cheese aged 12 years in a cave, changes the world perspective |
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[May. 9th, 2008|09:53 am] |
25 miles yesterday, 25 miles today.
before, I took breaks between biking days. We left today around 11 or so. During the first two miles, I really considered telling housemate that I couldn't do it and was going to turn back. After a while I forgot about that and just kept cruising. We went to the Edgebrook forest preserve and saw some deer and ate veggiebites. |
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[May. 8th, 2008|03:08 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Metric - Succexy | ] |
I got a bike today. It's a sort of hybrid commuter bike. My friend gave it to me.
I'm really grateful and excited about having one... I spent a lot of time tonight fiddling with it, riding it around the warehouse, bragging about it to anyone who would listen.
The frame is 19 inches, which is a little bigger than I'm used to, but it's manageable. I think the main thing I need to worry about it mounting and dismounting, I've got to give up the cowboy crap. It has fancy brakes and gears and suspension.
Getting get a Brooks saddle soon for it.
Well, I should sleep so I can get up tomorrow and ride. |
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| Was your heart too soft? |
[May. 8th, 2008|12:14 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My House | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Atmosphere | ] |
Hello.
I don't know really what to say.
Resuming college in August.
Alex is gone,
Chris is gone,
Beau came back for 4 days now he is gone,
I should be going insane right?
There is one girl here who keeps my head leveled.
Her name is Katy Shea
She was from Texas, but moved here for reasons I will not disclose.
She is very down to earth
She follows very well with conversations
She is very open minded
She wants some of the same things I do in life
I could go on and on about here(and trust me I could!),
but I have a problem:
She is dating someone, but he was one of Christophers friends, but
haha he kinda chills with me.
She is having bad problems with him too.
He is more like an aquaitance in my life, but I still iono..
She has to break up with him first though.
She worth that much I guess, something you bump into once and lose it
and think you'll never find again, but you do..
Life is good though:
I'm learning to live on my own, learning how to deal with
friends moving, spending time with family, spending time with
wonderful friends, missing amazing people, happy for those people
too, writing constantly again, getting into music hardcore once again,
Cleaning up, gaining confidance, sculpting myself, learning myself,
Working and applying new places.
Maybe I can do this?
Maybe I will get the girl?
Maybe I will be happy?
I'll write about it soon.If it happens.Or doesn't |
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| I have a stylish goatee now |
[May. 7th, 2008|01:43 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Metric - IOU | ] |
So I'm done with college, even though I'm not graduating. Once I do my senior thesis paper I will. Ideas include:
*Children's Book on NAFTA (for example: Where's My Happy-Meal Come From?)
*Feminist Theories something, I really want to write something trash-talking pomo relativism stuff. We're having a consciousness raising group this summer at the Chicago Free School.
*Travel Log. Which brings me to.
I'm riding bikes to California with Companion and a friend and a pup. I've been training (rode 20 miles today) and reading reading reading about bikes and touring. Oakland's over 2000 miles away, a few hundred more depending on which route we take. We'll probably be going something like 50 miles a day, leaving in early July and arriving in mid-August. Camping on the way, no route picked out yet.
I'm really excited, mix of reasons. A little apprehension. I've never done anything like this before. I feel very strange not knowing where I'll be in 6 months, not knowing what next "semester" holds.
Gonna travel up and down the West Coast, so many to visit.
I'll be posting about my progress training and learning. |
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[May. 5th, 2008|01:35 am] |
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I want to get some bamboo to build a bike trailer, but I have no idea where to get some (cheapish) |
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